Disappearing Act
by krumpingxballerina
Summary: Set in New Moon a few months after Edward leaves. Bella is taunted and teased at school. Then a new illness strikes Bella. Who will be able to save her? Warning: Anorexia, Self-harm,
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer. I own nothing.

First Chapter. I know it's short, but enjoy.

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I live in a dreary town in Washington with my father, Charlie Swan. He is the chief of police of Forks. I've lived with him for almost a year now. He is a nice man. A good father, I know he wants the best for me. Yet, he isn't very observant. But I love him nonetheless.

Forks is a very small town. It contains only one stop light, the Newton's outdoor and grocery store, and a gas station. Rain pours down almost constantly, reducing my hair to a constant frizz. The small high school looks more like a small grouping of elderly group homes. The students are horrible though.

Ever since they left, nothing has been the same. My life just keeps getting worse. He promised it would be as if they never existed. But that would be too simple. Jessica and Lauren make sure I remember the source of my pain every day. They taunt me endlessly. Asking where my _perfect_ boyfriend went. Why did he leave me? Oh, is it because I'm so plain? Or is it because I'm nothing more than a fat cow?

It's been 107 days, or 3 and a half months, since he left me, and my life is a living hell.


	2. Chapter 2

_Twilight belongs to Stephanie Meyer_

_A/N: My friend Beta'd this for me :) Thank you Alyx :D _

_Chapter 2. It's a little longer than the first. Let me know what you think please? This is my first real fanfiction that I am writing, and I am a tad bit nervous about my writing ability. _

_xoxo__

* * *

_

_Beep. Beep. Beep. _

I rolled over and slammed the off button on my alarm clock. It was 5:30 AM. Time to get up.

I got myself out of bed and went over to my dresser, pulled on a pair of sweats and a loose fitting hoodie. I reached for my running shoes then headed downstairs to start my daily routine.

I start everyday by running in the woods next to my house. There is a trail that leads to a cliff. It's only a mile long run, but it's more than enough to get me sweating. After I reach the cliff, I turn around and run the other mile back to my house.

I'm finished by 6. So, I start breakfast for my father, Charlie. Today I'll make him pancakes and sausage. He settles down at the kitchen table to dig in just as I jog up the stairs.

It's now 6:30 and I'm collecting all my things to get in shower. I lock myself in the bathroom, strip, and step onto my new worst enemy. The scale.

111.2

I've only managed to lose half a pound since yesterday morning.

_I have to work harder,_ I told myself. _No dinner tonight, tell Charlie you have too much homework and you'll eat upstairs. _

I turn on the shower and step in, letting the cold water assault all of the fat covering my body, wishing every inch would just melt away. I let out a dry sob, sliding to the bottom of the shower, my tears now freely falling, being washed away by the cold water streaming from my shower head. I don't know how much more I can take. Today being a Monday wasn't much help either. I really do not want to go to school today, especially knowing that Jessica and Lauren are sure to torment me some more. But I drag myself up and continue on with my shower.

Once I'm finished, I dry myself off and reach for the blow-dryer. After spending at least ten minutes drying my hair, I get started on trying to make myself appear presentable.

By 7, I am standing in front of my full length mirror, attempting to put together an outfit.


	3. Chapter 3

Twilight belongs to SM

A/N: Not as long as I'd like. But, I really wanted to get another chapter up before bed tonight. I got a lot of reviews on my last chapter, and this is the only thank you I can give :)

So THANK YOU!

I would've wrote more, but I can barely keep my eyes open.

xoxo

* * *

I settle on a deep blue long sleeved t-shirt, an old pair of faded blue jeans, my worn converse, an oversized dark brown pull over and my worn parka. I gather up all my scattered text books, making sure I grab all of my homework and toss them in my knap sack before heading downstairs. I grab an apple and head out to start my ancient red Ford.

It is drizzling slightly and my long chestnut brown hair is beginning to frizz. I am freezing, so I pull my parka tight around my large frame. The heat in my truck went out short after they left, and I knew no one else who could repair it. I really do not want to bother Charlie with the tedious task, and Jacob lives all the way in La Push.

I really do miss Jacob. He was my best friend. I felt so comfortable with him, but I'm never good enough apparently. Only a few short days after he… I mean Sam found me in the woods, Jacob cut off all communication with me. He said I wasn't even worth his time. He doesn't want to be bothered with someone who mopes around missing those filthy leaches. I can't really blame him. It only makes sense for him to leave me. I deserve to be alone. It's the only place I belong.

I pull into my usual parking spot, arriving just in time to hear the first bell ring. I grab my bag and rush into the building along with the other late-comers.

I make it to my first class just before the late bell rings. I keep dozing off during class. Next thing I know, I'm following the flow of students towards the cafeteria.

My steps slow, and soon I duck into the restroom. I rush into the biggest stall, locking the door behind me. I lean against the wall and slide down the wall, sitting on the floor. I grab the apple out of my bag and slice it into four. I eat one slice, and throw the other three in the trash. I only consume about 25 calories.

With 25 minutes left before my next class, I set the alarm on my dingy little tracfone to go off in 22 minutes, and doze off to sleep.


	4. Chapter 4

**Everything belongs to Stephanie Meyer. **

**A/N: There is a little time jump in this chapter. I didn't have anyone read over this before I post it. So, be prepared forr some mistakes. Most of them will probably be with the whole past/present tenses. Sorry :(  
I actually liked writing this chapter a lot. Jessica and Lauren make a nasty appearence, and we have another look at Bella's anorexia.**

Enjoy

**xx**

* * *

I woke with a start. The annoying buzz of my alarm ringing in my ears. I got up off the floor, and made my way to the hall.

I felt invisible. People stopped talking to me when they left. Even Mike and he used to follow me around like a lost puppy. Several people kept bumping into me, continuing on with their commute to class without even mumbling a sorry. I finally made it to the west wing hallway. It led to the science classes, but this hallway was made up with nothing but lockers. No teachers around.

I hurry down the hallway, watching my feet. I did not hear Tyler come up behind me. Next thing I know, I'm falling. My face breaks my fall as my books fly everywhere. I can hear high pitched obnoxious laughter. Jessica and Lauren.

I get to my knees and try to stand up before I'm kicked in the back. _Ring. Ring. Riiiiiing. _

_Shit, I'm late for Chemistry. _I thought as I skidded across the hall. _Banner is going to kill me. _

I crawl towards the lockers, reaching out to use them for support as I make it to my feet. My back is aching, and I can already tell my knees are going to be black and blue. I turn around as I stand, only to be face to face with Jessica, Tyler, Lauren, and…Mike? Yes, Mike Newton. The boy who would do anything for my attention was now with my two worst enemies.

Jessica grabbed a fistful of my hair as Lauren spit on my face. I was almost to the point of tears, my body was aching and I just wanted to be home. They shoved me up against the lockers, bruising my back in the process.

"Look at you!" Jessica sneered in my ear. "You are so ugly, how can your own family stand look at you! No wonder Edward left! That's probably the same reason why your mom divorced your dad!"

I couldn't take much more of this. Tears were filling my eyes, threatening to spill over.

Jessica dragged me to the middle of the hall by my hair. Throwing me to the floor, right as Mike and Tyler gave Lauren a large red bucket.

"You are nothing but worthless trash, wasting space for those who are more important than you." Lauren smirked coldly right as she tipped the bucket right over my head.

Silent tears started to fall as soon as the ice water hit my head. It was freezing, and this was just to embarrassing. Mike leaned down next to my soaking wet form.

"I can't believe I ever liked you. You are a nasty, fat, and worthless skank. I just feel bad for Cullen. I can't believe he put up with your sorry ass for that long." Mike said as he smacked me across the face.

They all turned and left me alone in the hallway. Shivering in a puddle of ice cold water, laughing as they went. I couldn't take it, I gather my things and make a mad dash for my rusted truck. Heaving the heavy door open and throwing my things inside, I start the engine and sped out of the parking lot. I was trying to put as much distance between me and the school.

By the time I made it home, my teeth were clattering together. The heat in my truck went out, and I had yet to get it fixed. I reached over for my bag, and made my way to the front door. Digging my keys out, and unlocking the door.

I ran up the stairs and ditched my bag. I automatically went over to my dresser and began to dig out my exercise clothes. I needed a distraction, and exercise was proving to be the perfect one.

I ran six more miles that afternoon, plus another two before bed. Ten miles in one day. I was proud. I had also managed to skip out on dinner, claiming lots of homework and an upset stomach. As I got ready for bed, I was actually looking forward to weighing in the morning.

Two weeks had passed and nothing to noteworthy had happened. I have reached my first goal though and I am nearing my second. I'm sitting nice at 98.2 pounds, fitting snugly in a size 0. Jessica and Lauren had backed off. Only throwing a few snide remarks in my direction.

I had just gotten back from my morning run, and was upstairs getting ready to shower. Looking in the mirror, I was horrified. How can the scale have such a beautiful number on it, yet I'm still so disgusting to look at. I can still see pounds of fat just hanging off my body. My arms were horrible, and my legs jiggle like an earth quake every time I move. My stomach was still flabby and it was disgusting to see the fat hanging at my hips. I told myself I would look perfect at 95 lbs. But, now I know that is impossible. Even at 95 I'll still look like a fat lard! This really couldn't be happening. I started sucking in large rasps of air.  
_I will not settle for this. I have to at least get to 90 now. Then, all of this fat will be gone! I'll look decent. Maybe, just maybe, he will come….. _I stopped myself. I glance in the mirror one last time before turning the shower onto ice cold and stepping in.

The rest of the morning passed by quickly, and soon I was in my truck on the way to school.


	5. Chapter 5

**Everything is owned by SM. **

**A/N: Sorry it's taken so long for the next chapter. I've had a small case of writers block, and I've been packing and moving for about the past two weeks. I'm in my new house now, my room is completely done. But, I do not have any internet :( I will probably take my laptop with me to my doctor's appointment today, and run to McDonald's to upload this chapter.  
Also, something is apparently wrong with my ovaries. They hurt like a bitch, so I have an ultra sound today to make sure everything is in proper order. 1/24/11  
As soon as I receive 6 reviews for chapter five, I will try my hardest to post ch. 6. Wi-fi depending. I'm already working on ch. 7.**

Living in Forks was a constant hit on myself esteem. That's the only reason I miss Phoenix. In the middle of the dessert, no one new me in my high school of 3,000, I was just another face in a crowd. In Forks, I would never be anonymous again. Everyone knew me. I was Chief Swan's only daughter and I had dated the untouchable.  
_This drizzle is another thing I miss about Phoenix. It only rained a few times each year, _I thought as I got out of my car, using my books to shield my head from the falling rain droplets.

Once I got inside, I notice that something odd. No one was paying attention to me. Not that I wanted them too, but usually I had a few hateful glares thrown my way by now, and someone should've already tried to trip me. I could tell that everyone was gossiping. Something big had happened; I could feel the excitement as it coursed through the school halls. The students were in their respective groups, whispering hurriedly in each other's ears.

I took advantage of the situation and made my way to my locker. I gather the school books I would need, and head to my first period. 

There was definitely something big happening, I thought as I drove home. Jessica and Lauren had left me alone the whole day. They've never left me alone for one whole day since….they left. \

I pull into the driveway, and decide that I was going to run my usual morning routine. I need to clear my head of all the stupid school drama. I was not able to figure out what everyone was gossiping about, but I figure it's probably just some fight or another school 'scandal.' Two months ago, one of the cheerleaders was caught in the janitor's closet fucking the male nurse aide; people have just now stopped talking about it.

I left out a soft hiss as the rain hit my exposed body. I was wearing baggy Capri's and a loose tank top. It wasn't raining hard, but the combination of the cold and rain gave me a chill to my bones. It felt good to run, letting everything seep away from my mind as the tall pine trees flew by. After completing my usual circuit, I run it again. I'm already soaked, and the extra exercise will do me good. As I reach the turnaround point in circuit, I start to feel a little woozy. Next thing I know, I'm sitting on a log near the cliff, breathing harder than normal as black spots start to evade my vision.

**Sorry for the short chapter. I couldn't resist. **


	6. Chapter 6

**SM owns everything.  
A/N: Here's Chapter 6 ****  
Thank you for all of the reviews.  
Sorry, but it's another short chapter. **

**My internet is hopefully going to be set up tomorrow. 1/24**

**7 reviews = ch. 7**

**Update: 1/27 I will have internet tonight. I have an ovarian torsion. Google it. Super painful. I will most likely have to have surgery to remove my left ovary. So my updates will be dependent on internet and my health. I'm sorry :( **

**Hope you guys enjoy this chapter. I'm going to upload ch. 7 also, just so you all have it. **

I woke up to stare at my ceiling. No matter how hard I try, I could not remember how I got there. Last thing I remembered was falling to a log before everything went black. I obviously must have just blacked out and don't remember getting back home. I was neatly tucked into my bed, and my clothes had been changed. I was wearing my favourite sweats, the ones I kept tucked in the very bottom drawer of my dresser, and a sweat shirt. I even had on a pair of Charlie's socks.

I missed my nightly run, and it was already 9 am. Luckily it was a Saturday! I couldn't help but feel as if I was being watched as I made my way to the bathroom. Just to be safe, I locked the door and checked the window before shutting the blinds. Then I stripped down naked and went to step on the scale.

"Oh my God!" I screeched. "What the fuck is this?"

I stare in disbelief at the empty spot where the bathroom scale should be. It wasn't there. It wasn't anywhere in the bathroom. Charlie hasn't weighed himself in at least five years, so I know he didn't touch it. I clothed myself again, and went to my stash of emergency money. I kept it in a tin that also held caffeine pills, diet pills, and the tiniest bit of weed. I have never done weed, but I thought about it. I was using every option I could to escape the pain…he left me with, but I was just too scared to resort to weed just yet. I grab my keys and threw on some shoes before I head out to my truck. I don't care what happened to that scale, all I know is I'm on my way to Port Angeles to buy a new one.

I can't believe how desperate I am. I'm standing in a dirty bathroom at a truck stop in Port Angeles. I locked the door and am now standing fully nude on the new scale I bought, only minutes before. I'm too scared to open my eyes, let alone look down and read the numbers. But I do it anyways. I have to know. All of this hard work must be paying off, it has too.

96.0

I lost two pounds 6 ounces. I feel relief flood through me at the number, but I already know that it isn't good enough.

_Look at how pathetic you are Bella. Getting excited to at how much you've __**lost!**__ Maybe if you were more dedicated you would've been at that weight weeks ago! Don't get your hopes up, fatty. It's still not good enough._

I clothed myself and stashed the scale in my bag, as I scolded myself on my way to my truck**. ( I think that sentence has 'my' used in it way too many times)**

I got in my truck, and got back on the high way. It was time to get back to Forks. I _needed_ to exercise.


	7. Chapter 7

**I know short. But's it's all I had typed up. Sorry! I've uploaded ch. 6 & 7 up together because things will probably be a little slow from now on.**

I finally made it back to Forks, and the first thing I notice when I pull into the drive, was Charlie's cruiser. I check the time, remembering he had to work till 5 pm and it was only 12. I grab my bag, and head for the house.

"Hello?" I call out as I set my keys down on the shelf next to the door.  
"Bells?" Dad calls out.  
" I thought you had to work till 5 Char…Dad!" I yell as I make my way to the living room. I can hear a sports game blaring from the television.

"I was supposed to, but it's a small town. They can make do without me for one Saturday." Charlie replies, turning around to look at me. "I was hoping to surprise you, but you weren't home. I didn't know you were going out."

"I wasn't planning on leaving, but I though a nice drive to Port Angeles would be calming. Plus I started my period and am all out of tampons." I lied through my teeth.

"I..uh.. Okay." Charlie stuttered. "I was wondering if you wanted to go fishing? The fish should be biting good today, and we haven't spent some quality time together in a while. I miss my little girl."

"Sorry dad, but I have a term paper I need to get started on. I'm shooting for straight A's this year. Maybe another time?" I felt horrible shooting down my father like that, but I would rather run than fish with him. We are both too socially awkward for our own good.

"That's okay, I'll just give Billy and Harry a ring. I'm sure they'll love having the Chief tag along." Charlie chuckles. (This is set during New Moon, but Harry did not die, he might later but I doubt it.)

It was an hour later after Charlie and mine's lively conversation. I changed into my workout clothes, and was starting my first circuit. I was feeling a lot better than yesterday, even though I have yet to eat anything. I'm trying to see how long I can fast for. The longest I've gone was two weeks, and that was right after….they left me.

That's when all of this started. I never felt confident when I was with Alice or Rosalie. They both are beautiful, and I'm just average. Average brown hair, average eyes, average height. The one thing that was never average about me was my boyfriend, or my weight. I was definitely the size of a small cow. But, _he_ swore that _he _loved me and that I was perfect. Perfection doesn't wear a size 6 jean.

I could feel tears start to trickle down my face. This was the first time in a long time that I actually allowed myself to even began to think about them. They hurt me so much, and _he _expected me to move on? I do not think I'll ever be able to move on. But I'm hoping it will be easier once I look beautiful. Thin waist, beautiful collar bones, protruding hips, bony wrists. I'll look perfect. Maybe then he will…..

_Stop it Bella!_ My inner voice growled. _He never loved you. How could he? You were nothing but a fat lard. I'm surprised you didn't break his back all those times he carried you places. There are something even the strongest men can't carry. And that's your fat ass. Grow up, and dry those tears. We are __**not **__letting all of our hard work go to waste. If he loved you, he would still be here. He's probably with some supermodel in Paris. Flaunting her to all of his friends, something he would never do with you._


	8. Chapter 8

SM owns everything.

**A/N: Sorrrrrry! This chapter is really really short. I was writing, and just thought that this would be a good stopping place. I know what I'm going to write next, it just not flowing very well with this chapter. If that makes sense :| I hope you all enjoy this chapter. Thank you guys so much for all of the reviews! I have 27! That's a ton! Also thank you for adding this story to your favorites and/or adding it to your story alerts. It means so much to me. I thought this story would bomb. Thank you guys so much :) Going to try and get the next chapter up real soon since this one was just so short.**

**Also, I'm feeling much better. They think it was just a cyst. **

**I listen to one song continuously while I wrote this chapter. Go listen to it. It's good. Not Good Enough For Truth in Cliché by Escape The Fate. **

**xxx**

The weekend flew by. Saturday was the most eventful day. Weighing myself in a truck stop bathroom is a new low.

I am nervous. That white, heartless scale was staring at me. Taunting me. If it could speak, I'm sure it would be laughing it's ass off. I took a deep breath, close my eyes, and step on.

93.6

Ninety-three pounds and six ounces. I wanted to cry, to scream, to do something. I was frozen. I accomplished something, something I thought I would never reach. It's in my grasp. I weigh less than 95 pounds. I couldn't hide my smile as I stare down at that beautiful number displayed on the scale.

I went straight from the scale to the shower, I didn't want to ruin my good mood just yet by my daily mirror inspection. I still could not wrap my mind around how something could weigh that and yet still look disgusting.  
The water finally started to run cold as I reached for my towel. I dry myself off, then step in front of the mirror. I was pleased with the number on the scale, but it still was not good enough. I felt defeated as I looked at myself. All I saw was fat. Fat arms, thunder thighs, my fingers look like sausages, dead eyes, chubby cheeks, fatty stomach. It made me sick.

_I'll never be good enough for anyone. No matter how much I lose, it will never be enough. Never. I don't deserve happiness. _I sighed and head towards my bedroom to begin the daily task of looking presentable.

The morning was going by fast, and soon I was in my truck on my way to hell. I was hoping today would be like last week.

I park my truck, and grab my things. I really was not looking forward to school, and nothing could prepare me for what was about to happen next.


	9. Chapter 9

SM owns everything.

**A/N: I had a bit of writers block. I knew what I wanted to write, I just couldn't form it into writing. Well, I couldn't form it into anything worth reading. I just want to say thank you again for all of the reviews, favourites, and story alerts. It means so much to me :)  
I also want to give a big thank you to ****Harry Albus Potter Dumbledore.****  
She mentioned an idea she would like to see happen in her review. She has reviewed for every chapter, and I really hope it came out how she imagined. **

I was early to school. I was mentally preparing a list of things I could do till school started. I decide to clean out my locker, it was a mundane task, but killed a lot of time. Soon, my locker was clean and the first bell had rung.

I could not help but zone out during my morning classes. I did not sleep very well last night, and I could not remember the last full meal I had. I felt light headed, and I knew I should eat. But the hunger was a reward to me. It meant I was strong, it meant I was in control. It was the first step to becoming beautiful. I was tired of being an embarrassment to those around me. I'm ready to be beautiful. _I'm ready to be thin._

The first hours of school pass by excruciatingly slow. I was definitely not focused in class. My mind kept drifting. I am so tired. The bell rang, finally signaling the beginning of lunch. I had done a good job of avoiding Lauren, Mike, and Jessica, and I want to make sure I keep that up today. I know I could not handle there torment today. I just felt so weak. I dump my things in my clean locker, and head to the picnic tables the keep out behind the school. The weather was dreary and the town was covered in a constant drizzle. I knew no one would be outside, I don't blame them. The weather is pretty terrible.

I made it too the tables and collapse onto the table top. Spreading out on the full length of the table, starring at the dark gray clouds as little rain drops fall to the ground. I start to drift off, when I hear the double doors open. I sit up and look at the doors.

"Shit," I mumble under my breath. Lauren and Jessica were walking towards me, a wild glint in their eyes.

"Look who it is Jessica!" Lauren rasped in her nasally voice. "It's that worthless piece of shit. Bella Swan."

"What are you doing out here Isabella?" Jessica jabbed. "Hiding your pathetic face from everyone else?"

"You are such a pathetic loser. Why don't you just go off yourself already?" Lauren said, stepping closer. I flinched at what she said next. "No one cares about you. You are worthless." 

I knew what she said was true. It's the same thing I've been telling myself since they left me. It's the only excuse I have.

"Stop. Please." I whispered. I didn't want to break down in front of them. They just laugh.

"It's no wonder Edward left you. You are nothing but a plain jane, pathetic loser. You are never going to amount to nothing but a fat lard who brings others down with you. Just do us a favor and die." Lauren whispered in my ear as she pushed me to the ground. I had gotten off the table, and was trying to edge away from them. "Do Edward a favor."

I lost it. Tears were streaming down my face and I fell to the ground as Lauren and Jessica descend on my helpless form. I didn't even feel the first couple of kicks. Soon, I was on my back, my face already in a blubbering mess. I could feel their feet connecting with my ribs. I had to fight back. I try getting to my feet, but I was only able to sit up before Lauren jumped on me. The weight of her body pinning me to the ground as she punched my face. I could hear the crushing of bone as her small fist connects with my nose, causing me to cry out in pain.

"Please stop!" I gasp as I put my hands in front of my face, trying to fend her off. Jessica was just cheering Lauren on as she kicked me some more. I start to wrestle with Lauren, trying my hardest to get free. Somehow I end up on my stomach with Lauren still on top of me. I struggle harder as Lauren starts pounding on the back of my head. Laughing as Jessica continues the assault on my ribs. Jessica connects another hard kick to my ribs, causing me to gasp out as a sharp pain shot throughout my body. Another kick, another pang. I could tell she broke at least one of my ribs. I could feel blood start to trickle down my head from Laurens fists. I felt so weak, the will to fight was quickly diminishing. I stop struggling, and just focus on staying awake. I could faintly hear a bell ring as Lauren and Jessica left. I roll onto my back and just stare at the sky, trying to blink away the black spots that were invading my vision.

Everything hurt.

It hurt to breathe.

It hurt to move.

It hurt to think.

I could feel the blackness start to invade my body. Claiming my limbs as it spread faster towards my head. I was almost gone. My eyes started to flutter as I was releasing my hold of consciousness.

That's when I saw it.  
That's when I saw him.

**I want to say another thanks to Harry Albus Potter Dumbledore.  
She wanted to see Lauren, Jessica, and Mike ( I didn't include Mike. Didn't sit well with me .) beat up Bella. It was a great idea, and I just had to write it in. I hope I did good. I've never written a fight scene. **


	10. Chapter 10

My head was throbbing. Everything hurt. It hurt to breathe, it hurt to move, and it even hurt to think.

I roll over and glance at my alarm clock.

_9:18 P.M._

It was only then, while looking at my clock, that I realize something. I'm in my room. I grudgingly sit up, looking around.

"How's your head?" He asked me. He was sitting cross legged in my floor. Right beneath the window.

"Uh…" I respond, not sure how to use my voice. I wasn't sure if that was because of the shock, or because of Jessica and Lauren.

"Should I get you something? Like pills, or pills. Shit, I'm sorry Bella. I'm not very good at this." He sighed, rising to his feet. "I….I wasn't even supposed to be around. But everyone is so tense at home, we weren't going to start school till tomorrow. Carlisle started working today. I had to get away. They are a bunch of Debbie Downers. They are girls, and humans. I couldn't touch them, no matter how much they deserve it. I just wanted…I didn't know…"

"Shut up." I mumbled, knowing he heard me when his rambling stopped. "It doesn't matter that they hit me, or kicked me, or spit on me. I got what I deserved. But, what I don't understand is why you are here? You guys left me. You left me here all alone, and now you're back to do what? Taunt me? Take me back only to drop me again?"

I got to my feet and headed to the bathroom, with tears streaming down my face. He rose to his feet to go after me, but I reached the bathroom before he got to me. I manage to shut the door behind me before I fall into a crumpled heap on the floor. Somehow he managed to sit on the floor next to me and wrap his arms around me. Hugging me to his chest.

"I'm sorry Bella. What we did was horrible, and I'm sorry." He whispered into my hair. "I know it sounds scary, but you can come back to our house. Everyone would like to see, and we have a lot of explaining to do. "

"I highly doubt any of….them want to see me." I mumbled.

"Well, I can think of about 6 more people besides myself that want to see you. Plus, I think Carlisle needs to check you out." He said as he lifted me up and started to carry me down stairs. "I ran you here, so I'll run to the house."

"I don't think this is a good idea." I squeaked trying to get out of his grasp, but he had already started running.

Only a minute or two later, he was helping me onto my feet in front of the old style mansion that his family owned in Forks. It was so strange, to be standing here getting ready to face the people I had once depended on.

"Come on Bella," He said as he started towards the house.

"I can't, Emmett. I'm scared." I whispered, frozen in place.

"It'll be okay Bells." Emmett replied as he gripped my shoulder and led me towards the house. The familiar nickname brought an odd sense of comfort to me, and even though Emmett was as big as a bear, I somehow knew I could depend on him right now.

I attempted to steady my erratic breathing and closed my eyes as Emmett reached for the door handle.

When I opened them again, I could not believe what I saw.  
Well, I couldn't believe who I saw anyways. 

SM OWNS EVERYTHING

A/N: I just want to say thank you for those who reviewed and just made me feel better about myself. That meant a lot :)

I've been swamped with school work. I've had to write three papers, read two books, outline 7 chapters, complete chemistry homework. All since the last update. It's not really an excuse but, I'm still gonna use it.

I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter. After being told that what I've written was 'fucking offensive' I became really discouraged about whether or not I even wanted to continue this story. I was also afraid that I was going to just change things and the story wouldn't go how I planned. I.E: Killing Bella. Now, I wasn't really planning on killing Bella, that's not the direction this story is leading me. But I was very convinced to do so just out of spite. One thing about the story that did change was how I perceived this chapter. I was going to have the person she saw be Edward, but I decided that she needed a friend, and who better than our lovable Emmett?

Thank you to those that have favourited, subscribed to alerts, and/or reviewed :)

:)


	11. Chapter 11

**Another chapter. SM owns everything.  
Why is it I only get inspiration when my internet is down.  
It sucks.  
Well, much to be looking forward to in the chapter.  
I'm hoping to make it a nice long chapter, but we'll see how it goes. **

Before I could even think to run, I was engulfed in a huge hug.

"Bella." The voice cooed. The usual hard tone was replaced with one of loving compassion. It sent chills down my spine. "You are here."

I just nodded my head while Rosalie continued to hug me.

"Rose, she's not going to run away. You can let go now." Emmett said behind me. I was thankful for him, she's a lot stronger than she looks and her hugs are a close second to Emmetts bear hugs. But no one will ever beat the hugs E…..he gave me. I felt tears well up in my eyes. Memories floating freely through my skull. I didn't want to be here. This is not where I belong. This house belongs to glamourous, drop dead sexy vampires, and isn't fit for such a plain, mediocre human like myself.

"Come on Bells," Emmett whispered in my ear, snapping me out of my daze. Rose had moved to the side of the door waiting for me to pass through.

_Deep breath Bella, _I told myself.  
_You can do this._

One foot after another, I slowly moved my way into the Cullens grand home in Forks. It was just like I remembered it. Nothing out of place, and everything had a shine.

Once I was a few feet inside and the door could be shut, I just stood there. I wasn't sure what I should do. I wasn't even sure why I was here. I just knew Emmett wanted me to see Carlisle.

Emmett walked around me and headed for the stairs.

"Come on Bells. Carlisle is in his office. Everyone else is out hunting." He sadly said. My feet started to move by their selves and I was soon walking up the stair case. Rose was on my heels.

It was strange. Rosalie always hated me. She never talked to me unless she had too, and even then it was only to say something rude. Yet, she gave me a warmer welcome than Emmett.

"Bella," Rose said as we reached the top of the stairs. "I need to tell you something before you go in there."  
I stop and turn around.

"I'm sorry." She whispered in a defeated tone. "I've been nothing but rude and mean to you. You don't deserve that. No one deserves to be treated how I treated you. I'm sorry it took something so…tragic to make me realize that. I've finally see what my family see's in you. Honestly, I was jealous. You had the thing I wanted more than anything, and yet you were willing to throw it all away. I was just so mad that I didn't stop to see why. Looking back, I would take being a vampire over a human any day if it meant I could spend it all with Emmett. And I can, so I'm sorry I treated you like an outcast. "

Tears where streaming down my face, I never thought Rosalie would ever say something like that to me. I didn't know what to do, so I just walked into Calisle's office.

Carlisle had a nice office. It was full of books, had a large oak desk, and even an examination table in it. As I walked in, Emmett walked out, closing the door behind him.

"Bella. Please have a seat." Carlisle said, gesturing to the examination table. I climbed onto it, with my feet hanging off the side. I couldn't reach the ground. "Emmett already told me what happened earlier today while you were at school."

I gulped. This is definitely not something I wanted to discuss with my ex-almost –father-in-law.

"I just need to ask you some questions and make sure you are okay." He breathed. "Has this ever happened before?"

"Uh."I swallowed. " Define before."

"Bella, has anyone ever laid a hand on you to purposely hurt you _before." _Carlisle replied.

"Well, they've tripped me before," I closed my eyes. "and they've pushed me around some."

"Okay." He mummured while intently jotting things down on a clip board. "Who are they? Remember, anything you tell me in here will stay between me and you. Rose and Em are out of hearing distance."

"Some kids at school. Mostly Lauren, and Jessica. But sometimes Mike and Tyler." I looked at my feet, focusing on evening out my breathing.

"Why did they hit you?" He asked.

"I don't know. They were just saying some stuff, and it just kinda happened. I didn't hit them first if that's what you are wondering." I started to pick at my finger nails, chipping old paint of in tiny flecks.

"What did they say?" Carlisle asked. 

Silence. No way was I telling him.

"Where did they hit you?"

"My head, my stomach, and my chest. They….they kicked my ribs a lot too." I faltered.

"Isabella, can you please remove your shirt so I can see more of the damage?" He asked switching from Carlisle, my ex-soul mates' dad, to Dr. Cullen.

"Carlisle, I don't want to be rude, but I am fine. I'm a little banged up, but I'll be fine after a few days rest and some sleep." I replied. I couldn't let him see me. I couldn't let him see all that disgusting fat hanging from my body. I couldn't let him see the scars. I couldn't let him see me.

"Isabella, you may feel fine, but I just need to make sure no ribs or broken. It's for your benefit." He said in a monotone. I could tell he didn't feel like fighting with me. "Let's be a little realistic. I am a vampire doctor; I could sedate you and check you over before you had time to reach the door. Asking is only a courtesy. "

I cannot believe he just said that. I would expect things like that from Emmett, but never Carlisle.  
I looked into his eyes, silently pleading with my own, but I could see that he stood firm on what he said, and would do it if he had too.

Defeated, I slowly lifted the hem of my oversized long sleeved black shirt. Lifting the shirt up over my head, and pulling my arms out of the sleeves, I dropped it beside the table onto the floor. I couldn't look Carlisle in the eye as he told me to take off my white cotton tank top and lay back. Closing my eyes, I focus all my attention on trying not to cry. Yet, Small tears still managed to escape out of the corners of my eyes.

I could feel Carlisle's cold hands lightly pressing onto my rips, even now and then I would wince.

"Bella, could you please sit up so I can see your back?" He asked.

Once I was in the sitting position again, Carlisle began his examination on my back. Tears were streaming down my face more freely now.

**A/N: 7/28/11 I just found this Chapter on my computer! I thought I had already uploaded it! I already uploaded chapter 12 then realize that ch. 11 wasn't there! Gag! SORRY **


	12. Chapter 12

**A/N: Hey guys, long time no update. I know, I know. I have tons of *valid* excuses.  
I've really have drawn back into my depression. I am an ex-self harmer, but I've been razor free since Jan. '11 and that's been a tough battle. I planned on hitting this story hard once summer started but I had some court things I had to deal with in June. It was all drawn out and horrific, to say the least. I'm just glad that my case didn't go to trial. BUT enough with excuses. I've spent the past week and a half trying to get the courage to open up Open Office and start chapter 12. So, I'm just going to buckle down and try to get back into the groove of the story. I hope you all haven't abandoned the story, but if you have, I completely understand. **

**As always, SM owns everything. **

I shiver as Carlisle's ice cold hands ghosted down my spine. The tears were threatening to break the dam I had worked so hard to build. I felt so small, and defeated as a loud sob escaped my lips. I couldn't help but shake as tears were streaming down my face.

_**Flashback**_

Charlie was so worried about me. He always said that I was distance, he was threatening to send me to Florida. But I couldn't let that happen.  
"Char….Dad,uh...can we talk about this tomorrow? I kinda told Jessica I'd hang out with her tonight." I whispered, unsure if my father could hear my shallow tone of voice. "If that's alright of course, it's kind of last minute and…."  
"Bella, that's great. Of course you can go. That Stanley girl is a good kid. I like her," Charlie replied with brighter eyes as he reached into his pocket." Here you go kiddo."

I said my good byes as I took the $30 and headed out to my ancient Ford. I quickly pocketed the money as I made the short drive over to Jessica's house. I really hoped she wouldn't mind. Shit Bella, she probably has plans, I thought as I parked outside her house.

That's how I ended up here. I was at a house party in Port Angles, stumbling around like a drunk idiot. I didn't even know where I was going. I was just trying to get somewhere, but where?

Next thing I knew I was outside. I was in the back yard by the tree line.

It all happened so quick. One second I was swaying on my feet, staring up at the sky. Then next second I was on the ground staring up at this guy. I couldn't make out his face. I could only tell it was a guy from his short brown shaggy hair. He was telling me something, I just couldn't understand.

…..

"What are you doing?" I whispered when I realized this boy….this man was on top of me.  
"Oh baby, you know exactly what I'm doing you little slut." This man slurred into my ear. His hands were everywhere at the same time.  
I screamed as his mouth crashed on top of mine. Smothering me as his tongue forced his way into my mouth. My arms felt heavy as I pushed against his chest.  
He covered my mouth as his mouth started to attack my neck.  
Somehow he managed to get my cardigan and shirt off.  
He was stroking his calloused hand up and down my exposed spine, lingering on the clasp of my bra as he swiftly unhooked it.

_**End Flashback**_

**A/N: It's short but I typed more, I just thought this was a good stopping point and would let you guys know that the story has been updated. I've already started chapter 13 and hope to have it finished by tonight, hopefully I'll be almost finished with chapter 14 by the morning.  
I'm getting ahead of myself. Haha, I'm taking this story one word at a time.  
I originally wasn't going to include the flash back, that wasn't even part of the story I have planned so far. It kinda of wrote it in. It brings in a much more personal aspect of the story for myself. Blah Blah Blah. I'll shut up now. I'm uploading this chapter then getting back to Chapter 13!**

I just ask that at least one person who reads this to leave me a review telling me so. I'm so worried that since it's been so long, everyone will hate me and not read it. :S


	13. Chapter 13

**Chapter 13. Told you I was working on it! **

**If I ever tell you that I'll have a chapter up by so and so or a certain day. I'm lying. It won't happen. No matter how motivated I am, it just wont happen. You have every right to hate me for that. I understand how sucky it is when an author doesn't have an update schedule or something, Its just that as soon as I decide that I want to have a certain chapter done by a certain time, all creativity, motivation, and the little skill at writing I have(Because I honestly suck at writing. I change tenses like a retard, right Alyx? Haha. And I'm sure there's a lot of other problems) just go out the window.**

SM owns everything you recognize.

When I snapped back to the moment at hand, I was backed up into a corner with my hands in front of me. Carlisle was standing behind the examination table; next to him was a very worried looking Esme. Emmett was behind them, clinging to Alice who was buried in his side while her body was racked with silent sobs. Rosalie was about 5 feet from me, her eyes soft and her expression was one of worry. The last person I noticed was the one 2 feet in front of me. Sitting on the back of his heels looking at me intently. It was then that I realized I was sitting on the floor with my knees drawn up to my chest.

"Bella, shhh…" Jasper said calmly. "We are not going to hurt you. You're okay. Shh…."

_It was then that I remembered how I got here.  
Carlisle put my shirt back on for me because I wasn't responding. He called for Jasper softly. I barely heard him and I snapped. I started screaming when they all rushed in. And hid in the corner. _

"Bella?" Rosalie said as she walked up to Jasper. "How about we go downstairs?"

She extended her hand towards me, offering to help me up, but I merely shook my head no as I stood up on unsteady feet. I waited till they started to move towards the door, I wanted to be the last one out. Rosalie, Jasper, and Carlisle were the only ones who didn't race downstairs with their super speed. They paced themselves, not wanting me to walk alone.

Once we made it downstairs, everyone was seated on the cream coloured couches. Two empty spots were left for me to choose from. One between Esme and Alice, then a spot next to the arm of the couch and Emmett, Rosalie was seated on the other side of Emmett. I shakily sat next to Emmett, even though he's huge I felt comforted by his presence. Especially after earlier today.

"Bella, dear….it's so good to see you. I know I speak for the family when I say we've missed you terribly." Esme said from her seat on the couch. "We love you so much, and I can't even begin to express how wrong of us it was to leave you like that."

"Esme, it's fine. I-I-I understand," I replied shakily, trying to keep the tears at bay as I wrapped my arms around my knees as I drew them up to my chest.

"Bella, it's not fine. We shouldn't have left in the first place, we shouldn't have let Edward make the decision for the whole family. I'm sorry," Esme gently said.

I flinched when she said his name. I couldn't help it. I missed him so much it hurt. I didn't allow myself to think about him, not even the family. I just couldn't do it. I rested my head on my knees and closed my eyes. I was very unsure of what to do.

"Uh….thank you Car-Carlisle, but can I go home?" I mumbled, knowing they would hear me. "I need to feed Charlie, and I have….plans."  
"Of course you can Bella." Carlisle replied on behalf of the family.

"Can I drive you?" A shy sounding Alice asked, silently pleading with me to say yes with her eyes.

"Er….I, I kinda need to talk with him…Emmett. So, uh…Emmett, will you take me home? If you're okay with that I mean…" I stumbled.

"Sure Bella. That's no problem at all." He said looking from me to a heart broken Alice. "Do you mind if Alice comes with though?"

"N-nooo. That's fine." I looked at my feet as I stood up and walked to the door. Both Emmett and Alice had already beaten me there. Alice was seated in the back seat of Emmetts huge Jeep, and Emmett just held the door open for me.

After I was settled into the front seat, Emmett started the Jeep and we headed to my house. An awkward silence had settled over the Jeep as Emmett drove at a human pace, I was waiting till I thought we would be well out of hearing distance from the house.

"Bella?" Emmett asked. "There was something you wanted me to talk about?"

"Yeah." I whispered while looking at my nails, chipping away more polish. "I was…uh….wondering if you told anyone about…about school?"

"Nope. I just told Carlisle that you'd gotten in a fight with some girls, nothing else. I promise." Emmett said keeping both hands on the wheel and eyes on the road.

"Well, could you…uh, not tell anyone? I just don'…" I whispered back before Emmett cut me off.

"Of course not Bells. You can tell them when you are ready too. I'd like you tell them soon, but no rush from me." Emmett said, lightly brushing my long locks over my shoulder.

"You were in a fight? What happened? Why didn't you tell us Bella? Ohmygod!" Alice screeched.

"It…uh..it wasn't really anything to worry about. I mean, it's nothing. Honest. Uh…. Bye." I stumbled as I hopped out of the Jeep trying to quickly escaped Alice's questions.

I looked back to see Emmett talking Alice out of rushing after me as I reached the front door. Charlie's cruiser wasn't in the drive way, thankfully.

Once I was inside my house I rushed up stairs to my bedroom. I made sure to lock the door after me as I headed towards the window to draw the curtains. I grabbed a small wooden box out from under my bed and sunk onto the mattress. Opening the box, I looked at the things I had stashed inside. I took off my black sweater and threw it on the floor as I reached into the wooden box drawing out one of the razors. Holding it delicately in my fingers as light glinted off of it. There was always something so calming about the look of a razor, at least to me anyways. I lowered my hand with the razor to my left arm. Holding it lightly to the skin of my inner arm, a couple of inches up from my wrist. I usually cut on my thighs. Only when I would feel like I was literally falling apart, hitting a new low, would I ever cut my arms. It was just to noticeable, and I was praying Carlisle hadn't seen any of the thin, faded scars that adorned my left arm. I took a deep breath as I pushed down into my skin, dragging the flimsy razor across my skin. Feeling the burn and mental release as blood started to leak onto the surface of the cut. I let out a hiss as I finished the neat line, closing my eyes and savoring the pleasant empty feeling that always lingered after I cut. For me, this was the only way to empty my mind of the stress of living. It got rid of all the pain, even if it was only for a moment, and it always left me feeling empty, yet full at the same time. It was one of the few times that I didn't feel like I was falling apart. I couldn't help but feel sane, as crazy as that sounds. I brought the razor to another spot on my arm and cut again, relishing the instant and gratifying relief. I did two more cuts after that before I wiped the blood off of the razor and returned it and the box back to its hidden resting place. I parted the curtains and glanced to the driveway to make sure Charlie hadn't come home yet. He was still at work so I unlocked my door and made my way to the bathroom.

Once I made it to the bathroom, I shut the door and quickly turned on the faucet, sticking my bleeding arm under the cold stream of water. I closed my eyes and hissed as the water hit the open cuts, making a painful yet pleasing sting. After blood had stopped oozing out of my arm, I dried my arm off with a towel and headed back to my room.

I glanced back out the window, starting to worry a bit about where Charlie was. I don't remember if he said he was working the night shift at the station(since it's a small station, let's pretend that each officer takes a turn working one night a week at the station incase something happens. ) He should've called an there was no messages on the machine when I got home. I shrugged it off as I put on another hoodie, and changed into a pair of sweats before settling under the covers in my bed.

I quickly fell into a dreamless sleep.

* * *

**I ended this chapter here because the power was out for two and a half hours(it JUST came back on. Like three minutes ago. No joke) and this is 4 pages on my laptop with authors notes and I started writing today when there was only one page. My laptop was dying so that's how far I got.**

**I don't know when Chapter 14 will be up. But, I have started it. After my laptop died I started Ch. 14 on paper. I was writing in the dark using a mini flash light (: Just for you guys.**

**Hope you like the chapter. Someone leave me some feed back on the story as a whole? (feedback on this chapter will be great too) I ended up rereading all of the chapters in order, and I noticed that with the last couple of chapters it fills like the mood of the story has shifted. I'm not sure if anyone else has noticed this but it seems like something has changed, and I can't really put my finger on it, and I'm the author! Haha. Ciao ;)**


	14. Chapter 14

**A/N: Wow. It's been over a year since I last updated. I can't even begin to apologize. Thank you to the continued reviews and follows. I don't even know where to pick up with this story. My laptop that had this story on it is no longer working :( So I lost pretty much all my ideas. I'm struggling with what direction I want to take this and that's why I didn't make this chapter any longer. If you read this and have any ideas or inspiration shoot it my way. Can't promise that I'll use it but it will get my wheels turning.  
I also want to say THANK YOU to the readers who have stuck with me through my horrible laziness and lack of updates, and even the readers who have found this story during my absence. I can't offer up any excuses because there really are none. I've done a lot of growning up since my last update and I've need to work through some of my own issues. **

**Enjoy (: **

* * *

I awoke the next morning feeling as if I didn't sleep at all. I couldn't help but be restless. I kept waking up in the middle of the night thinking about him. I could've swore I saw someone outside my window but I can't allow myself to become hopeful. Just because the family seemed to welcome me back doesn't mean he would feel the same.

I glance at my alarm and realize its 6:30 and I forgot to set my alarm last night. I'm mentally running through all my options while I use the bathroom and look myself over in the mirror before deciding to get dressed in some sweats and an oversized sweater. I've given up on any form of fashion. Alice loved to dress me up. Bella Barbie they would call me. I really did feel pretty, sometimes, until I would notice their reflections in the mirror next to my own. No way would I ever compare to their beauty. I didn't even come close. I feel myself shutting down so I hurry out of the bathroom trying not to think of the white scale that's haunted my dreams. I make my way down stairs, listening for any signs of Charlie. I look out the window and notice his cruiser in the driveway. That's when I notice a note on the fridge from Charlie, talking about some wreck in the next county over that he was called to help out on.

I grab some celery out of the fridge to ease the hunger pains before grabbing my bag and heading out of the door. I climb into the cab of my truck and head out of Forks. There is no way I could handle school today. Not with the knowledge that it would be the Cullens first day back and E…he would probably be there. I get onto the main highway heading towards First Beach in La Push. I start thinking back to last night and how much everything has changed in the past 24 hours. This changes everything.

After the mind numbing 45 minute drive, I reach First Beach. I park in the empty lot and grab the blanket I have stashed behind my seat. I head out onto the beach looking for a good spot to sit and think. I find a spot and spread my blanket out before plopping down. I begin to look back on my life in Forks. My life has drastically changed since leaving Phoenix. I was in complete control back there, and while my life was boring, I was content. After moving to Forks, it's like I became a different person. I met them. The Cullens. And Edward. _You have to get over saying his name. They are going to want to ask you about him. You can't avoid him forever. We might not be at our goal yet Bella, but we are almost there and when we get there his jaw will drop. _For the first time in my life I felt wanted. I belonged with them. There was nowhere else I wanted to be but beside him. Obviously a lot has changed since then.


End file.
